On Namaste

I had a pretty wild dream the other night in which I was walking amongst the trees on the grounds of a lovely retreat center. I rounded a corner on the path and overheard the following conversation between the guru/master and a male student occurring on the other side of some bushes:

“But, she and I are friends. Well, I’ve never met her but we’ve talked through email and chat. She’s here. I saw her. I’d love to talk with her in person.”

“And, you can talk to her. I’m asking you to wait a bit before walking up to her. You may think you know her because you’ve had some good conversations but not really. Something happened that made both of you uncomfortable, didn’t it? You changed toward her after that. “

“I, uh…how did you…? Of course, you’re a guru. Yeah, that’s true.”

“That fact alone tells me you are not ready to walk up to her. What are you looking for? What are you hoping for? Here’s what I think. I think you should wait until you know inside of yourself in whose presence you are standing when you walk up to her. “

“She’s an adult. She makes her own choices. There was no damage done.”

“Ah, yes. She is. And, she does. Comfortable thought isn’t it? It is true that a human soul cannot really be damaged. But, these teachings are not given us to excuse choices that have a negative effect on another. They are given to allow us a greater awareness of life. They are given so that we do not add to another’s burden or illusory struggle and so that we do not add to our own. We do not truly damage another – that is impossible but it is possible to add to the mists shrouding their own understanding of who they are and our own understanding of who we really are.

“Namaste. That word. Do you know the meaning of it? The divine in me sees and responds to the divine in you. So, when you approach someone, you see that spark of divinity in them and treat them that way whether they can see that spark in themselves or not. But, you cannot do that for another unless you see that spark inside yourself first. You didn’t really see her and therefore you did not see yourself either and with that understanding you made a choice. Make a different one this time and see what happens."

“You mean don’t say hello or talk to her.”

“Hmmm…wouldn’t that only be continuing what you’ve been doing?”

“Ouch. Yeah, I guess so.”

“No ouch. No judgment. But, next time you see her truly look at her. She’s gone through more than most, though she would disagree, and is exhausted clean through. She’s here resting, letting go and healing. In spite of all that, or because of all that, she shines and there’s something in her that will touch many. There is definitely a divine spark, a divine flame in her though she doesn’t totally know that herself yet. She sees it but often doubts it. When you can see that spark and flame in her, you will know in whose presence you stand and you will know that presence within yourself. Then you can approach, say hello and talk. That is my suggestion. Ah - I hear the call to dinner. Let’s go eat.”

I awoke later but remembered that incredibly straight-forward lucid dream and I’ve been thinking about it since. It would’ve been easy to dismiss this dream as nothing more than what it seemed – an interesting dream in which I played the eavesdropper on an incredibly private conversation that I didn’t really want to be privy to. Underneath it all I felt there was more, though, so I haven’t been able to let it go.

I’m not sure I have it all yet but I’ve come to realize that I am the woman they are speaking of – knowing she’s a part of the divine but not fully getting it yet and exhausted from the illusion of struggle.

But, I’m also the man on the bench who has acted in the past as if I did not have the divine spark in me, clouding that awareness of the spark for myself and possibly for others but wanting to see and know now. I’m also the guru/teacher showing myself the divinity, the spark/flame – teaching me to drop illusion and look more deeply with more clarity at myself and others. And, I am also the observer in the woods – outside of the experience but watching it all and learning.

It could also be said that the man in the dream was each character and the guru in the dream was each character and even the observer was each one.

I have much to think about and, apparently, much thinking to drop.

Photo:  Trees along the Timpanogos River, UT