What I Heard While Looking at the Moon

Were I to say what I see in you it would be this
I see the light of a new day arising over the mountains
I see the uniqueness of an oriental poppy standing amidst a field of lavender
I see invisible wings made visible and miracle made clear

Were I to say what I hear when I listen to you it would be this
I hear the laughter of the leaves when the wind has tickled them
I hear the song of the sea after a storm has washed the shore clean
I hear the expression of All That Is in each sound you make

Were I to say what I feel when you pass by it would be this
I feel the strength of a thousand mountains
I feel the wonder of a thousand snowflakes
I feel the oneness of all of life in a simple sideways glance from your eyes

Were I to say what I love about you it would be this
Everything

Photo:  Moon - Snoqualmie, WA

Ritual for Change

This is a very powerful ritual when done with focus and intent. It "should" be performed 4 times a year at the Equinoxes and Solstices. This is for ease of memory rather than anything else. When the 1st day of the season is listed on your calendar it's the perfect time to think about change in your own life. It's a review of the previous three months (deciding what you didn't like or about yourself or your life), a cleansing out of all that isn't yours and isn't you. That's followed with a calling in of those things and ways that do match you for the next three months.

Here is the ritual:


You will need:
Two pieces of paper
One pen or pencil
One length of ribbon about 12-18" long
One candle
One stick of long-burning incense (the ones used for sitting Zazen for example)
A small bowl of sand or dirt
One glass of water with a rose quartz crystal soaking in it
A bathtub

• Fill bathtub with comfortably toasty water
• While it is filling take one of the sheets of paper and the pen/pencil. Write down everything that you would like to release from your life - everything from what you consider to be the most trivial to the most profound. Think back over the last three months and write it all down. Once you are sure you have that complete (use both sides if you need to), set that next to the tub.
• Take the other sheet of paper and write down everything you would like to draw into your life, everything you wish to see yourself become - again from what you consider to be the most trivial to the most profound. Think over the next three months and write it all down. Set that next to the tub.
• Set aside the pen/pencil.
• When the tub is filled to the right level for you to be immersed, turn off the water
• Light the candle and the incense - place on tub rim
• Place the small bowl of sand or dirt on tub rim
• Remove clothing
• Step into the water saying:
  "It is in this moment I change. I die to the past and I am born to myself. All things are cleansed away; all new beginnings are mine. Disappointments, perceived failures, hurts, and mistakes are no more. Dreams manifest into forms of light and love and reality. I call forth all beings of light to assist in this cleansing, to destroy the illusions and bring forth what is true"
• Soak in the water for about 15-20 minutes with the intent of washing away the "old" you to be born into the "new" you.
• At some point, be sure to dip your ears under the water and just listen to your heartbeat . Imagine this heartbeat being the heartbeat of the Earth and know yourself to be loved by her. Then imagine this heartbeat to be the heartbeat of the Universe and know yourself as loved by the Unending. Allow this heartbeat to be the heartbeat of the Divine in whatever form/name you are comfortable with. Know that you are truly loved.
• When you are ready, pick up the sheet of paper with the list of things you want to have cleansed from you. Read this list silently to become aware of each thing. Thoughts have energy and adding the actual voice to those thoughts increases that energy multifold. So, read this list silently to remind yourself of what is to no longer exist without giving these things too much energy - without letting them manifest.
  Once you have read this list to yourself, take that paper and place it in the water with you. Swirl it around until it becomes soaked and begins to fall apart. Watch the paper dissolve and see the words disappear.
• Say out-loud the following:
  "As this paper has disintegrated into the water, so, too have those things that no longer serve me disintegrated."
• Sit with this for awhile and truly feel that these things are going and are gone from your life. Water is a gentle way of cleansing so trust that whatever was on your list will be removed in ways that are also gentle.
• Then, take the paper with the list of things and ways you are choosing to become. Read this one out-loud. Add the vocal energy to the thought energy and read it out-loud in a strong voice. When you are finished reading it, say the following:
  "These thing I call into being. These things are now born into reality and speak the truth of who I am."
• Once this has been done, pass the paper over the flame (without burning it) and imagine the passion of fire infusing your intentions. Pass the paper over the incense and imagine the cool air of intellect giving you the step-by-step knowledge of how and see the air sending messages to others who will help you. Pass the paper over the water and see the truth of you being nurtured into being and your heart being woken for newness. Pass the paper over the sand or dirt and feel each thing on your list being formed into reality and see anything physically needed as yours. Read the page out-loud once more and set it outside the tub so that it does not get wet.
• While sitting in the tub, release the water and feel it drain away from you. Feel the old leaving and being sucked down the drain. When the tub is empty, there may be bits of pulp sticking to you. Rinse off in cool water. Leave any bits of pulp in the tub for the moment.
• Step out and dry off. Standing in front of the mirror, look at yourself as if you have never seen the person looking back at you before. In truth, you haven't seen this person - what was has been washed away and who stands before you now is newly born and light filled.
• Say the following to your reflection:
  "This day you have chosen to follow a new path of light and your dreams are yours. Blessed are you for you are deeply loved by all that is. And it is so."
• Drink the water (without swallowing the rose quartz). Blow out the candle and see your intentions being taken to the Universe to manifest into your life and being. If the incense is still going, allow it to end on its own. Get dressed.
• Gather the remaining pulp from the tub, take it outside and bury it all in the earth.
• Take the paper with your new self on it, roll it up around the rose quartz that was in the glass, tie the ribbon around the paper and crystal and place it in a safe place. You'll need it in 3 months to review for the next time you do this ritual at the solstice or equinox.
  

Go about your day or evening feeling the peace that comes from a deep letting go and a strong loving intention set. You have all you need and all is given.
Blessings and light.

Photo:  Some items in my meditation "cave"

Angel Wings

I am an angel unsure of my wings, unsure of choices and paths.

Knowing that with each step I do my best, believing in the best of outcomes.

And still I hear a voice say, “You do have wings.”

Photo:  Shell - Long Beach, WA

And all the While, Beauty

A Monet painted Sound

Brown water-silked seals popping up out of the water, staring at me with soft, curious, dark eyes and then diving back under the waves with a nod or two

Fish jumping out of the water and flashing silver in the morning sun

A man off to my left surrounded by feeding pigeons – he standing still with the birds landing on his raised arms, on his shoulders and even on his head. An enchanted dance between birds and human, wings like huge butterflies fluttering. It was like stepping outside of time to watch him and them.

A Seahawk flying low directly over my head from across the water

Seagulls waddling off in front of me as if accompanying me along the sand

Heart-shaped stones all over the beach

Prisms of colour and light seen through unexpected tears brought to my cheeks from the incredible flow and beauty of life

And all the while, a rainbow smiling its gift over one of the islands

To think there are those who would say there is no magic in this world

I thank You for the beauty that is Your world – a world that touches me so deeply in all its forms and ways and people and lives. I thank You for the mystery of all that is.

Photo:  Seagulls on Alki Beach, WA

On Namaste

I had a pretty wild dream the other night in which I was walking amongst the trees on the grounds of a lovely retreat center. I rounded a corner on the path and overheard the following conversation between the guru/master and a male student occurring on the other side of some bushes:

“But, she and I are friends. Well, I’ve never met her but we’ve talked through email and chat. She’s here. I saw her. I’d love to talk with her in person.”

“And, you can talk to her. I’m asking you to wait a bit before walking up to her. You may think you know her because you’ve had some good conversations but not really. Something happened that made both of you uncomfortable, didn’t it? You changed toward her after that. “

“I, uh…how did you…? Of course, you’re a guru. Yeah, that’s true.”

“That fact alone tells me you are not ready to walk up to her. What are you looking for? What are you hoping for? Here’s what I think. I think you should wait until you know inside of yourself in whose presence you are standing when you walk up to her. “

“She’s an adult. She makes her own choices. There was no damage done.”

“Ah, yes. She is. And, she does. Comfortable thought isn’t it? It is true that a human soul cannot really be damaged. But, these teachings are not given us to excuse choices that have a negative effect on another. They are given to allow us a greater awareness of life. They are given so that we do not add to another’s burden or illusory struggle and so that we do not add to our own. We do not truly damage another – that is impossible but it is possible to add to the mists shrouding their own understanding of who they are and our own understanding of who we really are.

“Namaste. That word. Do you know the meaning of it? The divine in me sees and responds to the divine in you. So, when you approach someone, you see that spark of divinity in them and treat them that way whether they can see that spark in themselves or not. But, you cannot do that for another unless you see that spark inside yourself first. You didn’t really see her and therefore you did not see yourself either and with that understanding you made a choice. Make a different one this time and see what happens."

“You mean don’t say hello or talk to her.”

“Hmmm…wouldn’t that only be continuing what you’ve been doing?”

“Ouch. Yeah, I guess so.”

“No ouch. No judgment. But, next time you see her truly look at her. She’s gone through more than most, though she would disagree, and is exhausted clean through. She’s here resting, letting go and healing. In spite of all that, or because of all that, she shines and there’s something in her that will touch many. There is definitely a divine spark, a divine flame in her though she doesn’t totally know that herself yet. She sees it but often doubts it. When you can see that spark and flame in her, you will know in whose presence you stand and you will know that presence within yourself. Then you can approach, say hello and talk. That is my suggestion. Ah - I hear the call to dinner. Let’s go eat.”

I awoke later but remembered that incredibly straight-forward lucid dream and I’ve been thinking about it since. It would’ve been easy to dismiss this dream as nothing more than what it seemed – an interesting dream in which I played the eavesdropper on an incredibly private conversation that I didn’t really want to be privy to. Underneath it all I felt there was more, though, so I haven’t been able to let it go.

I’m not sure I have it all yet but I’ve come to realize that I am the woman they are speaking of – knowing she’s a part of the divine but not fully getting it yet and exhausted from the illusion of struggle.

But, I’m also the man on the bench who has acted in the past as if I did not have the divine spark in me, clouding that awareness of the spark for myself and possibly for others but wanting to see and know now. I’m also the guru/teacher showing myself the divinity, the spark/flame – teaching me to drop illusion and look more deeply with more clarity at myself and others. And, I am also the observer in the woods – outside of the experience but watching it all and learning.

It could also be said that the man in the dream was each character and the guru in the dream was each character and even the observer was each one.

I have much to think about and, apparently, much thinking to drop.

Photo:  Trees along the Timpanogos River, UT

Heart's Ease

It has been a rough week, Heart of the Universe. I realize ‘rough’ is a perception but, still, I am tired from stumbling around in what feels like the dark. In the dark places, you are there as much as you are in the light places. I know this. I know this. So, how about I just turn out the lights on this day and on this week and sit here in the dark with you, breathing, resting, letting go? I think that sounds good. There are also two children, a few adults and a dog I ask you to be with tonight. Rest them, too, in the safe places of your heart. May all be well.

Photo:  Lavender seller's display - Sequim, WA